Banany's fic journal

Title: I love you too
Pairing: Koyama/Shige
Prompt: #003 - Confess
Words: 1,071
Rating: G
A/N: Written for je_prompts
Summary: It's taken Koyama eight years to finally tell Shige those 3 little words.


"Koyama... I love you. I really do."
"I love you too, Shige."

Shige has fallen in love. It wasn't love at first sight, or anything of those things that Koyama likes to go on about, ("You see them and you just... know") but more of a slow progression, like a warm tingle that spreads from the tip of your toes all the way up to your chest. That's not to say it feels any less intense than Koyama claims that love at first sight does; it just took a little longer to build up to that stage.

Shige has never really been in love like this before. High school sweethearts and crushes had come and gone in a flurry of spring blossoms and nervous heart beats, but this feels like a sweet, slow melody, filling him up, making him think of lazy, sun drenched afternoons at the park, and cosy winters together inside, under the kotatsu.

Shige feels like he has this big, beautiful secret hidden away inside him, and sometimes he just wants to sing it out to the world, that he has finally found some one this precious, someone to relate to all the lyrics of every love song he's ever sung. He wonders if everyone can see it. If they can see the glow that he can feel, which should tell people with one glance that he's fallen, head over heels, and is slipping further by the day. It seems as though he's shining so brightly that it should be impossible for it to go unnoticed; that he's in love, and his world has been painted rose-tinted, and that everything looks beautiful.


Koyama has been in love for a long time. He likes to think of it as love at first sight, though Shige has told him time and time again that such a thing doesn't exist. Koyama wants him to know that he's wrong - that Shige is the reason he's wrong, because the first time Koyama ever saw him, his heartbeat doubled and he stared and stared, and then after that, couldn't help but keep sneaking shy, furtive glances at him.

He couldn't wait for the next time they'd see each other, hated parting from him when they had to, and now, 8 years later, Shige is still all he thinks about; all he wants. Koyama thinks that he is very blessed to be Shige's best friend, to be in NEWS with Shige, to be such a big part of his life. Sometimes he accidentally finds himself thinking of him as, 'my Shige', or day dreaming about him when he's meant to be concentrating.

He's thought about confessing - thought about it multiple times. Often when Shige stays at his house, and the lights are out, and they're ready to go to sleep, it'll be right there on the tip of Koyama's tongue, ready to become words, but then Shige will be asleep, or Koyama will doze off before he realizes it. Then suddenly it's morning, and Shige leaves soon after. Koyama will always spend the next night holding the pillow that Shige slept on close to his face, inhaling the faint lingering scent of his hair.

Tonight, Shige is coming over, and once again, Koyama is trying to get up the nerve to say those three little words, to try and put 8 years of feeling into one sentence.
And that's the night that he finally does.

They lounge in Koyama's room, gossiping and joking, chatting and giggling, when Shige suddenly becomes serious, completely without warning.
"Koyama," He says, not quite able to meet his best friend's eyes, "Can I tell you something?"
Koyama's heart speeds up. His throat is suddenly dry, and he's having trouble swallowing, because this is always how he imagined he'd finally confess to Shige, only it's the other way around. But he nods, and says, as a best friend should, "Of course. You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Shige smiles at him, expression so filled with warmth and trust and affection, that Koyama feels a tingle run through him, flowing through his body, all the way to his heart.
"I'm..." Shige says, and then he blushes. "I haven't told anyone at all about this. You'll be the first."
Koyama smiles a tiny bit, "Am I? I'm glad, Shige."

"Yeah." Shige says, and then after a bit of a pause, "I'm... Koyama, I'm seeing someone. I have a girlfriend."
Koyama wonders what it means to feel like you've had your heart torn from your chest. He wonders if it's this sensation of feeling like you suddenly have nothing inside of you.

"Really?" He asks, and manages to force his smile to stay, no matter how weak it might look, when Shige's face breaks into a grin and he's blushing and goofy and so very much in love.
"I can't believe it. You. A girlfriend." Koyama says, and Shige must think he's teasing him, because he punches Koyama lightly on the arm.
"Hey!" He replies. "It's nearly our one month anniversary, you know."
Koyama feels a little emptier.

"Wow." He says. "One whole month already. Can't believe you didn't tell me sooner."
One whole month he could have already spent trying to recover from heart break.
"Yeah..." Shige replies. And then, "I'm so glad I finally could, though. I mean... we've known each other for 8 years. I feel like I practically grew up with you."
Koyama tries to keep his face from betraying his emotions. "Yeah..." He says, and can't manage much else.

They're silent for a little while, when Shige suddenly says, "I want you to be my best friend forever. I want you to be there when I get married, and when I have kids... I want you to be the first person I ring up when I get engaged. Koyama... I love you. I really do."
"I love you too, Shige." Koyama replies, and the words he's wanted to say for so long sound so empty.

"You won't tell anyone, right?" Shige asks, but doesn't sound too worried. He knows he can trust his best friend.
"I won't." Koyama assures him. And he knows he won't. Knows he'll keep Shige's secret to himself, along with his own. He'll hold on to both of them tight, never telling another soul.

Part of him wants to take them in his hands and hold them so tight that they break into tiny little pieces.