Banany's fic journal

Title: Mine (Part 3/9)
Pairings: Golf/Mike, Golf/Mike/Yamapi, past Kamenashi/Yamapi
Word count: 3,119
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Golf and Mike had always been closer to one another than anyone else. Yamapi threatened that.


It was funny, Yamapi thought, the way that Mike frequently talked about his brother in interviews. He didn't seem to like having the focus just on himself for too long. Yamapi wasn't sure if that was to do with his personality or just his age. Whatever it was, he certainly couldn't see Mike becoming a solo artist, or even wanting to, not any time soon at least. Of course, it wasn't that he thought this was a character flaw; actually, the way in which he emotionally clung to Golf was quite sweet, and Yamapi was flattered to realize that he was beginning to fill a similar role.

He wondered if it was because they were getting closer, or because Golf had decided to start playing the big brother figure for the younger members of KITTY. That didn't seem to make much sense though; they didn't get to spend as much time with the other four boys as they did with one another, and even when they were all together Golf still bestowed most of his attention on his brother. Yamapi really just wanted to think it was because Mike was starting to like him more.

Golf seemed a more straightforward soul to Yamapi. He had an open, friendly nature and, save for that one episode after karaoke (they'd gone again since then, with better results afterwards), he always seemed cheerful and stayed positive when the rest of them didn't feel so much so. It also turned out that Golf could read hiragana and katakana; not with overwhelming speed or fluency, but the fact that he could do it at all was very impressive. There were ways in which Golf reminded Yamapi of himself too; he acted like such an idiot at times but he knew, like Yamapi, when to get serious about his job.


Golf had come to thank him for helping Mike reconcile with him the day after the event had happened. It'd taken a couple of tries to say what he wanted, but once Yamapi had understood Golf presented him with a picture he'd drawn of the three of them the night before. It had taken a couple of moments before Yamapi realized that he'd needed to actually take it, instead of standing there, gaping.

Golf and Mike had mentioned their hobbies briefly upon introduction, and Golf had said something about drawing, but Yamapi hadn't realized that he was quite so good at it. It was easy for him to recognize who was who in the picture - he was in the middle, Golf was on the right, Mike was on the left - and he'd even gone to the trouble of shading them all in (Something that, Mike
mentioned later while they were talking with the help of a translator, Golf didn't really do that often, despite being so talented). Underneath, it had the ever so slightly lopsided kanji for 'friends'.

Yamapi had told Golf, "Thank you. It becomes my treasure," as he took it from him. Their hands had brushed together, and an odd electric tingle ran up Yamapi's spine.

During the rest of that day, during the days that followed, Yamapi felt lit up. Light. It wasn't exactly a familiar feeling, but it wasn't entirely foreign either. And it really did make everything seem brighter. He sung with more feeling, more enthusiasm, and his walked change a little, acquiring more of a bounce. He laughed more often too. The change was noticeable, and Jin had mentioned in passing, "You look happy. Did you get a pay rise or something? Will you share?"

Yamapi had smiled and smacked him on the back of the head, which had gotten them into a play fight. It was only once they'd started running around in circles, (Jin was - for some reason - trying to bite Yamapi's ear, and Yamapi was so worked up that he was practically shrieking as he narrowly avoided his best friend's teeth for the eight, ninth, tenth time) that Kamenashi had come and asked him if he could return Jin now please, because they needed him for work. Jin had given him the most dramatic thumbs up sign that he'd ever seen as he left with Kame. Yamapi wasn't quite sure why.



When the volleyball tournaments started and it became more convenient to do so, Yamapi and KITTY started staying in hotels with Golf and Mike. On the evenings after they'd worked themselves into the ground, none of them did much other than bid one another goodnight ("Raat-dtree sa-wat," Mike and Golf had taught the others). Other nights, usually ones when they hadn't been worked to the bone during the day, they all crowded into someone's room and jabbered away until past midnight (Yamashita had naturally taken on the role of 'spoil sport' due to being the oldest, and was usually the one to send their youngest members to bed).

It was one night after Inoo and Hikaru had left to go to sleep, and the remaining five of them were lounging in Golf's room, that Yamapi finally clicked. Mike had said that he was hungry, even though it was almost eleven o'clock at night, so they'd ordered a selection of nigirizushi and proceeded to share it between them. When the speed of his heart increased, as Golf leant forward to grab a piece of the sushi, letting his T-shirt ride up in the process, that Yamapi realized his feelings for him had surpassed those that he normally felt for his workmates.

Looking back on it, his first response to the revelation hadn't been entirely wise.
"Uh oh."
The other four stared at him.
"Uh oh?" Totsuka repeated, his confused voice fitting the expressions of everyone in the room.

"Uh," Yamapi flushed, and scrambled to find a cover up for his mistake, "Golf took the last piece of my favourite sushi." Which wasn't true, that particular kind wasn't even in his top ten. But then, there were only so many reasons he could come up with for his untimely exclamation, and this was the one they were least likely to find out was a lie.

It seemed to satisfy Totsuka and Kitayama, but unfortunately Golf had chosen to be able to understand him at a time it would have been far better not to.

"Here!" Golf offered him the nigirizushi with a bright smile. He'd already eaten half of it, and Yamapi's mind spun with childish thoughts about indirect kisses, and he wished that he'd chosen a more convenient time or person to have a crush on. Apparently, he'd taken too long to respond, just sitting there with his mouth hanging open slightly, because Golf rolled his eyes, and said to Mike, "What, does he expect me to put it in for him too?"

But despite the (probably fake) exasperated tone with which he spoke, Golf really did lean over and pop the sushi into Yamapi's mouth. The two Japanese juniors immediately collapsed into convulsions of laughter, sometimes punctuated with gasped words that sounded a lot like, 'Couple!'. Golf and Mike soon joined in with them (Minus the talking).
Yamapi sat chewing dumbly, trying not to choke.



He left with Kitayama and Totsuka, convinced that he'd give himself away more than he already had if he stayed in the room for any longer. Some twenty minutes later after trying and failing to discover a comfortable position in bed, Yamapi found himself walking towards the door, sliding on a pair of hotel slippers and a T-shirt, then heading towards the lobby. It was nearing one AM, so the fact that no one else was around, save for a very drowsy looking person at the reception didn't surprise him. He looked around for something to occupy him for a while, not entirely sure why he'd bothered leaving his room in the first place.

Places like the swimming pool and the recreation rooms closed at around midnight, and even the reception would be unmanned once it got to one o'clock. Yamapi finally noticed that there were four computers - with internet access, one hundred yen for five minutes - in a corner of the lobby, and resolved to spend a bit of time on one of those before he tried sleeping again. It was probably having Golf on his mind that was making him so restless. After a bit of a distraction, he'd be fine.

Yamapi inserted two one hundred yen coins, and started off by checking how the weather in Hawaii was at the moment. Apparently it was nice. As per usual. That didn't take up much of his time, so he switched to running Yahoo searches on the names of his friends (His own name would probably bring up results about GYM, and that was the last thing he needed at the moment), starting off with 'Akanishi Jin', and then, wondering if it would yield any interesting results, switching to 'Bakanishi'.

Still, as entertaining as finding thousands upon thousands of pages of fan girls squeeing about Jin's latest T-shirt was (And... wow, that sure didn't look like a fan girl ramble: 'Jin began to undo the buttons of Yamapi's black silk shirt, while keeping him pinned with a seductive gaze'. He quickly passed over that link), Yamapi inexplicably found himself looking up information on the general opinion of the people in Thailand on gay relationships. So much for a distraction.

What he found didn't do much to either assuage to heighten his anxiety. Apparently although homosexuality wasn't considered as taboo in Thailand as it was in places like Japan and Korea, the rich, western-influenced folk were rather downright against it. Did that include Golf and Mike? Unlike most of the population of Thailand the two of them were Christians. Did that mean they were more likely to find it gross?

Yamapi sighed as his time ran out - it seemed he'd wasted two of his minutes just staring blankly at the screen. As he got up and headed for his room, he reminded himself that none of this mattered, because he'd keep it a secret from Golf until they'd finished with GYM. Until he'd left the country. Until it was too late to do anything about it at all. Then he'd let the feelings die away quietly and be done with this.

It wasn't that he hadn't been with other boys before or anything; there'd been one time during high school, which hadn't lasted more than two weeks. More than anything else, it had been experimentation between two teenagers, and had ended with a slight awkwardness, but no other regrets. Four years after that, there'd been Kame, who Yamapi had gone from hating to loving so fast that it'd almost made him dizzy. Their affair hadn't been as brief as his first relationship, but it had faded away once they'd stopped spending so
much time together. That was okay, though. They'd stayed as friends after that, although Yamapi found that he missed what they'd had once in a while.

The problem with this thing with Golf was that the other times, it hadn't been him who'd been the initiator. He was fine with girls. Since his rise to fame had begun, if he wanted a girl she'd usually just fell at his feet. But boys were different. There were things he had to check with boys if he wanted to make a move. And he'd already met one other guy in the entertainment business willing to have a homosexual relationship (Kame), and felt that it was unlikely that he'd find another. Namely, Golf.

No, he knew he shouldn't even act on these feelings; it would throw the unit off balance if he even tried. The best thing to do would just be to go with his original plan; do nothing about it, say nothing about it.

The following days seemed unusual, to say the least. He spent them filled to the brim with the strangest mix of emotions; elation, fear, longing, excitement, all at once, all mixed into up until he could barely tell which was which anymore. It made him jittery. It was at times like this that he felt it fortunate that one had to learn how to put on a face for show business. In professional situations it was easy enough. He had a role to play towards Golf for the public, already had ways in which he was supposed to respond. There were no problems there. In situations where it was just him, Golf and the others, he acted towards him with a mechanical sort of friendliness which didn't make him seem too cold, but still caused the relationship to feel as if it were missing something.

He did and didn't like being left alone with him. The truth was that while he wanted to be just with Golf, things also got awkward when it happened. With the attention so focused on only the two of them, it was difficult to come up with topics aimed away from themselves. He was also more likely to say something stupid, which would give him away. Golf seemed to be affected by it too; he wasn't really sure how he was supposed to be acting around Yamapi anymore. Their relationship felt strange to him, but he wasn't sure why.
Yamapi wasn't short with him. He didn't ignore him, his facial expressions and words appeared genuine enough... something just seemed out of place.

Jin picked up on it pretty quickly too. Yamapi would spend his little scraps of free time with him, which usually involved Jin coming to visit him. While most things academic weren't really Jin's forte, he could read people well enough to tell when his best friend was acting weird. Unfortunately, he had no idea how to approach it, or fix it and thusly waited for the opportune moment to turn to the solution to all life's problems (Though mainly only according to young men). Alcohol.

"Ne, Yamapi, why don't us four go out and have fun tonight? You've all been working so hard, and I've been working so hard too."
Yamapi took one look at him and raised an eyebrow, "Jin, you know they're underage, right?"
That stopped Akanishi in his tracks, though only for a second. He surveyed his best friend carefully.

"Did I say anything about alcohol?" Jin asked, trying to look as though Yamapi hadn't completely seen through his plans. Part of this involved him checking his nails in an overly girlish way, with unnaturally close scrutiny, "I was just thinking about going out to eat together, maybe some karaoke..."

"With lots of alcohol. Whenever you want to go drinking with me, you always say the same thing." Fortunately, Yamapi didn't look annoyed; in fact he looked more amused than anything, serving to help Jin decide that he was up for some persuasion.
"Do I? But you've never said no before."
"I've never wanted to say no before."
"Don't be a spoil sport." Jin said, in a tone that was beginning to take on a whiny tinge. He could feel his maturity levels plummeting, but that wasn't going to - never had- stopped him before. "I mean, think about it this way. What's the drinking age in Thailand? Have you asked them?"

Yamapi elbowed him. It kind of hurt, "Of course I haven't. My English sucks, my Thai's worse, and I don't really need to know, because they're not legal over here." His voice had acquired a final sort of 'no-means-no' sound to it, but Jin never knew when to stop with him. He looped his arms around his best friend's neck, and tried to jump on his back, sending both of them sprawling onto Yamapi's hotel bed. Golf and Mike, who were lounging in the corner of the
room, turned to them in alarm, unsure of what the two were doing. Eventually Jin decided to try and pin Yamapi to the bed, for whatever reason.

"I'll ask them! Everyone knows my English is ten times better than yours anyway." It wasn't bragging; Jin's prowess had improved a lot since, 'car shrimp', and 'helicopter sky'. Sometimes Juniors would come to him for help with their homework, which amused him to no end ("Simple things, simple minds." Kame had told him, when he'd said how funny he found it. Jin had thought that 'simple minds' had been referring to the boys who didn't understand their homework, so the quote hadn't insulted him at all).

Yamapi had struggled for dominance, but told him to go ahead. "Do you even know 'Legal drinking age' in English?"
Jin had waved a finger at him and tried to look knowing, which was kind of the same as the idea of Massu glowering. It made him look like some sort of terrible actor, because really, that look didn't suit Jin's face at all.

"Now, now, Pi. Learning a new language is all about using the weapons you already have! I don't need to know how to say that." He waved to the two brothers. "Ne, Golf, Mike."
The two trotted over like obedient puppies, but stayed far away from the flailing limbs on the bed. Golf wondered privately if the two of them did this often, because they seemed to be having no trouble holding a conversation at the same time as they were trying to toss each other onto the floor. Mike just hoped they didn't get hit.

"Um... In Thailand... What age is alcohol okay to drink?" Jin asked, and then let out a loud shriek when Yamapi accidentally elbowed him in the stomach. The people below them probably thought they were dying. That, or they were into BDSM.

Mike and Golf looked surprised, and then both stuttered out compliments on Jin's grasp of English. He preened, then got thrown off the bed in his moment of distraction. He was about to get up and claim revenge, but then the four of them remembered that he'd actually them a question.

"18." Golf said, in English.
"18." Mike affirmed in Japanese.
"See? In Thailand, Golf's legal." Jin said, as he got up, grinning all Cheshire like. He completely ignored Yamapi's protest that Mike wasn't legal in either country, and that Golf couldn't drink here without facing punishment if he were caught. Instead, Jin asked them (Totally excited because of his previous triumph), "Tonight, together, want to go out?"

Both the boys nodded enthusiastically, signifying that whilst Yamapi may have won the battle by throwing Jin off the bed, ultimately he'd lost the war.
He sighed, to himself and attempted to think of ways to stop spiked drinks from finding their way to the Thai siblings as he readied himself to go out.

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The legal drinking age for Thailand is apparently 18, but is followed very loosely. I think it has now been raised to 20, but during the time Golf/Mike were in Japan, it was at 18.